The killer tortoise



A tortoise in a garden defends it’s territory against invading cats.

Comments (97)

  1. Comment  by Lou

    Go tortoise…you rock!

  2. Comment  by Reptilologist

    That is either the most friendly, or the most terrifying, toroise I have ever seen.

    • Comment  by ellie

      That turtle is freaky, leave the damn cat alone!

      • Comment  by Turtle

        cats all over the garden, i would love a turtle like that to own any cat that comes in.

  3. Comment  by L Lawliet

    i would have kicked the turtle to leave the cat alone

    • Comment  by derafurp

      the turtle is like a quarter of the size of the cat, I’d have kicked the cat to leave the turtle alone.

    • Comment  by Bryan

      Oh yeah…poor kitty…

    • Comment  by G Diddy

      Or better yet, have the tortoise eat the cat!!

    • Comment  by jil

      you deserve to die.

    • Comment  by Ms.Snows

      You obviously never became a ninja turtle fan when you where a kid.

    • Comment  by rwal

      i agree

      • Comment  by hi guys

        Mr. Turtle believes there is a prime ingredient for the cure to anything locked within the chambers of the cats fluffy tail. Obviouly he is just trying to help etrieve the ingredient to save the world. Duh…

        • Comment  by imallergictocats

          id kick the turtle as well that cat never did it no harm

  4. Comment  by

    I would kick you to leave the turtle alone L L

  5. Comment  by robbb

    ha im with l.lawliet, im not a fan of cats or anything but those cats were just hangin out and that thing looked annoyin

  6. Comment  by Tara

    That tortoise is pretty fast lol

  7. Comment  by veda

    It is a lesson in hard exterior and a soft interiro.. defence -offence mechanism !!!

  8. Comment  by poopsticks

    “its”, not “it’s”

  9. Comment  by Hunter

    I was going to say that they were just playing, but the cat yelps in pain when the tortoise bites it. :C

  10. Comment  by Teit

    and I would’ve raped you if you touched that turtle -.-

  11. Comment  by Bob

    Bob the angry flower would be angry at you.

  12. Comment  by Dibbla

    I would have kicked the cats till they got out of the turtles garden!

  13. Comment  by Ryu

    Wow… That’s hilarious. I love how you see its open mouth as it charges, then vanishes into the fur, and then the cat leaps away all miffed.

  14. Comment  by Jon

    The cat clearly doesn’t know how to handle the situation. Poor bugger is only trying to have a lie down. That’s a damned scary tortoise though, I want one.

    • Comment  by Jon

      Also, does it think it’s a cat, or the cats are tortoises?

  15. Comment  by Locklin

    That turtle goes after a larger animal WITH.NO.FEAR.

    I hope that little bugger breeds a 1000 little turtlettes before he dies so he can form an army of berzerker cat-hunters and finally fulfill his one-and-only dream re-conquering his garden/motherland from these evil, heartless pussies.


    • Comment  by bramlet

      amen brother

  16. Comment  by peck

    I would have kicked the cats to leave my garden and not fight my turtle. If I’m reincarnated as a turtle, I shall be the one that all cats have nightmares about.

  17. Comment  by ssemiy

    Tortoise’s very fast!!

  18. Comment  by JFlores

    Tortoises rulez here!!!!

  19. Comment  by carl

    get some!!

  20. Comment  by dönertier

    lol ^^ xD

  21. Comment  by ben d

    i would have kicked the cat to leave the tortoise alone, sounds like you didnt read the post properly the tortoise was DEFENDING it’s territory/garden

  22. Comment  by guest

    i would have kicked the cat to stop bothering the turtle

  23. Comment  by Hermitbiker

    …. that’s one fast tortoise with an attitude !! :)

  24. Comment  by Barnaby Shackleton

    I would have kicked the cat to leave the turtle alone

  25. Comment  by ytfj

    I would have put it on the sidewalk and jumped on it

  26. Comment  by will howard

    thats because youre a cat person and should be kicked yourself

  27. Comment  by gord

    and latter that month the two(tortoise&cat)are still working things out… more latter… my moneys on the tortoise.

  28. Comment  by nonz

    kitty just wants to chillllll

    • Comment  by bugsie

      haha so true :)

  29. Comment  by Deneice Raisinclit

    Noisy life between two major interstate highways!

  30. Comment  by Turtle hater

    Turtle soup!

  31. Comment  by jacks

    I would have taken a golf club to the cat. I freaking hate cats.

  32. Comment  by Light

    Yeah I would have flipped the turtle over.

  33. Comment  by Tortoise Trainer

    Man that tortoise ROCKS

  34. Comment  by funnyboys

    I would have kicked you

  35. Comment  by Loe

    LOL why do we have to kick anything? It’s called nature. :)

  36. Comment  by turtles>cats

    i would have gotten the two cats, have them mate. and when their babies are tender and being born… i would have broken their soft tender necks. in front of their parents!

    • Comment  by Turtles&Cats>You

      You’re disgusting. You’re humanizing an animal in your mind for the sole purpose of wishing it the kind of pain a mother would experience at watching someone murder her children. Not only would those cats forget and try again within a few days, but they were never trying to mess with the tortoise in the first place.

    • Comment  by MadCommentReader

      What the hell turtles>cats? You are an awful person….Stop with all this kicking the cat/turtle thing. Every one of you who said that are awful. Yes it was funny to watch, but c’mon. Saying you want to hurt the animals purposely?

      • Comment  by Tiffeny

        Yeah! I agree. I love cats and tortoises and think kicking either would just be a sign of violent tendencies. If your worried about cats and tortoises in your garden get a dog. Besides it seems the tortoise was doing fine on his own and didn’t need any help

    • Comment  by Sharon

      You need to get help - really - you won’t because cowards can’t admit they are ever wrong. You will only keep getting worse.

  37. Comment  by Cephalopod

    Ha, that turtle is great!!!

  38. Comment  by James

    I wouldn’t have kicked either of them, but I also have nothing to prove on teh internets.

  39. Comment  by Slappy

    I would have kicked the turtle and I would have kicked the cat

  40. Comment  by rainwalker

    it WAS the tortoises territory in all fairness.. and the tortoise was there before the cats were so.. nature took its course.

  41. Comment  by don

    Calm down animal abusers. You would probably throw a baby out the window if it was crying.

    • Comment  by Shaolin_sKunk

      Is that what stops the crying? Oh jeez I’ve been going about this all wrong.

    • Comment  by vic

      why not??

  42. Comment  by ellie

    That turtle is freaky! It’s like possessed or something, it doesn’t even stop walking it’s so determined to get the cat.

    Poor cat,
    turtle, leave the cat alone!!!!!

    I would have put the turtle somewhere far away

  43. Comment  by sharon

    It’s a snapping turtle. Watch it’s mouth as it chases the cat. The poor cat’s tail is really fluffed (they do that if they’re fighting/scared)& at another time the cat lays exposing it’s stomach. (docile) Poor kitty doesn’t know if the turtle is a toy or an enemy.

    • Comment  by kman

      sorry but is deffinatly not a snapping turtle

  44. Comment  by sam

    go tortoise!!!!! i wouldve kicked all the stumblers

  45. Comment  by grant f

    … i would have taped it and put it on this page… wait did someone do that yet jk jk

  46. Comment  by snafu

    It’s not a turtle! It’s a TORTOISE!

  47. Comment  by poorlilcopycat

    that’s not a killer turtle…that’s a rapist turtle o.o
    poor kitty D:
    btw @turtles>cats, how do you know the two cats aren’t the same gender? and even if they were, they’d probably kill YOU instead before they’d let you get anywhere close to their kittens.

  48. Comment  by stef

    aa young ninja turtle, probably leo lol

  49. Comment  by liana

    well said don.

  50. Comment  by rawr

    MMmm Turtle soup

  51. Comment  by Mr. M

    a cat turned one of our tortoises over and it died. I snuffed that cat like so many I snuffed before.

    • Comment  by rei_girl224

      Well done, Mr. M

      In addition, that tortoise is the fastest moving tortoise I have ever seen. Is is me or is the word tortoise starting to look weird?

  52. Comment  by jonny rodgers

    that’s probably the fastest i have ever seen a turtle move lol

  53. Comment  by Tired

    The tortoise was doing what tortoises do, nothing strange. If the cats were really bothered they would have gotten far away not just a couple of feet.
    I am going to kick this, I am going to kill that sounds like a bunch of young spoiled childern. Grow up.

  54. Comment  by yoyo

    The turtle is the best!!

  55. Comment  by Anonymous

    Stumbled. I can just imagine that has the typical creepy turtle voice.

  56. Comment  by Turtle Avenger

    I personally trained that turtle to eat pussy in a diabolical plan to catch my cheating wife at home when I was gone….. I apologize for the inconvenience

  57. Comment  by Lucy

    man that tortoise is badass! :D

  58. Comment  by Sally

    LOL! Wow. Cute. :D
    As long as its not a snapping turtle coz those can bite a cat/dog’s nose off! :[ Hope no one tries to emulate this video…

  59. Comment  by Steve

    Danger, danger, danger!

  60. Comment  by hannah

    I hate cats and love turtles so this is epic to me lol

  61. Comment  by HAHAHAHA

    i love how everyone takes this turtle/cat debate so seriously. Its a cat and its a turtle. Kick the cat, kick the turtle, eat their kids, kill their parents… who cares. The video is sweet, the traditionally perceived pussy ass turtle keeps attacking a cat who refuses to leave the turtles domain. GO DONATELLO!!!
    i love lamp

  62. Comment  by wink

    Poor cat!!!!

  63. Comment  by alex

    Ninja tortoise

  64. Comment  by amber1192

    Calm down all. It’s nature. The turtle is probably a female quite capably guarding her nearby nest. And the cats are just being curious cats.

  65. Comment  by drxx

    The tortoise is lucky that neither of those cats were bothered enough to bite its head off.

  66. Comment  by codieha

    .what if the cat bit the turtles head off? D;

  67. Comment  by Mirth

    lmao poor cats!! That is literally the scariest turtle in existence! You guys are just a bunch of cat haters! Can’t you see that poor puss puss was just wanting to lounge while mongoloid monster turtle was out for BLOOD!

  68. Comment  by matt

    Go TORTOISE! What the hell is with all the cat people….don’t you people know if cats had guns and could get thier own food we would all be dead.

  69. Comment  by Sharon P

    What’s wrong with you people? I have never seen so much hatred. You guys are sick. None of those animals looks like it needs help from adults that are looking for excuses to abuse something smaller than they are. You are the same cowards that would never confront anyone that might have a chance of taking care of themselves. Really, get help!

  70. Comment  by Motherzoo

    Gee whiz……I sure hope none of these posters move out here to the country~ they’d have a nervous breakdown
    seeing Nature in it’s true form. BTW….We love to beat on animal abusers here……(any animal).

  71. Comment  by Deb Grabien

    Bottom line, both critters, the cats and the tortoise, are territorially minded. The tortoise perceived what it thought was a threat, and reacted; the cat probably hadn’t seen a tortoise before, and was more curious than anything else. The aggressor here was the tortoise, likely because it felt threatened.

    That’s how it works; to territorial species, one patch of land.

    An interesting clip, but not disturbing, really. The only thing disturbing in here is the number of mean-spirited cat-haters. I mean, I’m sorry about all your penises and whatever your actual issues are, but really, get a grip and get over it. Go buy in inflatable doll or something and work your macho BS aggressions out that way.

  72. Comment  by You people

    All you cat lovers need to shut up and realize all of your feline affection is the direct result of Toxoplasmosis.

  73. Comment  by JoAnn

    C’mon guys….those cats didn’t feel threatened by that tortoise!!!

  74. Comment  by Eloise

    oh my god, haha! I looked away for a bit, then when I looked back the cat had gone from a big fluffy ginger to furless, made the turtle look even more vicious, like it had stripped the cat of it’s fur XDD that’s a damn fast turtle :P ♥

  75. Comment  by tianna

    yeah turtles!

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Added: March 4th, 2009 at 9:13 am

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Category: Comedy, Pets & Animals